Something happened over this last Bank Holiday weekend which helped me to realise quite how far I’ve come since I started working on my relationship with food and my body with Beyond Chocolate. I spent the weekend in London; I went to The Globe with my parents and saw ‘All’s Well That Ends Well’, which was excellent. I went to visit my sister and small nephew and niece. Then, exhausted, I made my way to the hotel I’d booked for the night. (In case you were wondering, my parents were staying with my sister, and I decided one more would be too many).
When I arrived at the hotel, the receptionist was unwelcoming and uninformative, but I have stayed in many a hotel in my time and thought I’d find all the information I needed in my room. Unfortunately, this hotel wasn’t as organised as some of the others I’ve stayed in ... there was a room service menu, but no indication of which number to ring to access it. So I rang Reception – answer machine. I rang the Concierge – answer machine. I left a message on both to ring me back – no-one did.
Room service ended at 9pm, so at that point I decided to give up and eat the complementary fruit and biscuits and drink the complementary soft drinks and tea. It was perfectly sufficient. I don’t think you can possibly understand how significant those words are. I wasn’t able to access any food so I ate fruit and biscuits and it was fine. I’m still not sure I’m getting my point across here – maybe I can’t in cold print, maybe you’d need to see the incredulity on my face and the incredulous body language.
You see, I am the sort of person that would worry in advance about the provision and availability of food during any outing. The sort of person who would go into every cafe possible and would never pass a fast food outlet or newsagent without stocking up in case of future famine. The sort of person who would eat at cafes because they were there rather than because I was actually hungry. The sort of person who would have rushed out of the hotel to find a restaurant, even though (with hindsight) I wasn’t actually very hungry.
And that, I think, was the key this time. In the past I would have eaten an evening meal by hook or by crook, but now I am happier to go with the flow and, on occasion, eat what’s available and be all right with that. It’s a huge step forward for me. I feel good!